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WOMAN SEEN DURING A DEMONSTRATION TO MARK INTERNATIONAL WOMAN'S DAYFethiye is home to many strong women from eclectic social, economic and ethnic backgrounds. Under their headscarves, behind their office or home doors, are stories of perseverance to find their place in society.
Fethiye is home to many strong women from eclectic social, economic and ethnic backgrounds. Under their headscarves, behind their office or home doors, are stories of perseverance to find their place in society. Whether they are housewives, foreigners settling down in Turkey or career women, what is common to these women is the spirit of struggle. What does International Women’s Day mean to them? Füsun Şahin, general secretary of the Fethiye Chamber of Commerce and Industry Self-confessed workaholic Füsun Şahin’s daily routine consists of waking up at 7 a.m., getting her daughter off to school, working until 7 p.m., cooking dinner, helping with homework and bedtime, going back to work till 3 a.m. and sleeping a maximum of five hours before the whole cycle starts again. “Being a woman in 2010 is like trying to balance stacks of watermelons on your shoulders. Sometimes one will crash to the floor. Even though I try my best to balance each of my responsibilities, I work such late hours that I sometimes fall short of my responsibilities as a wife and mother. I know this frustrates my daughter and husband, although they are always supportive,” she said. Şahin said she has to be as equally understanding and supportive of her husband. “When we are in a social situation I make a real effort not to eclipse him and his views.” She said, “Women in Turkey who want to be successful in their career and to maintain that success through marriage and childbirth, have to face the reality that society only accepts the male figure as the head of the family and the main income earner. The onus is on us to create a balance where we don’t always take the lime light and in fact make a concerted effort to stay in the background for the sake of our partner’s pride.” For her, International Women’s Day provides women with a chance to assess their position in society. “At this stage I believe a woman can only be liberated when she reaches economic freedom. I believe Turkish women are beginning to understand this and are taking control of their own lives economically,” Şahin said. Ruki Arıcı, housewife and retired nurse For 30 years, Arıcı was a nurse in Ankara. She returned to Fethiye when her first husband died. She remarried, she said, “[Because] it was the right thing to do for my reputation.” Now, at 58, despite suffering from a heart condition and various health problems, she looks after her husband and his father, who is 105. “Turkish women have the tendency to take the weight of the world on their shoulders. We sacrifice everything for the well being of our husband, children and even our extended family. I think my body and deteriorating health is a direct reflection of the hours I’ve served everyone but myself – Turkish women tend to forget to take care of themselves. Perhaps this is because we are taught not to value ourselves as much as our husbands or our children,” she said. Arıcı said this is changing among women in big cities, however. “They are educated and have the means to earn their own money and lead their own career. On women’s day I think the new generation of women in Turkey should be encouraged, while I’d like older women like me who have served their families endlessly for years to be recognized for their sacrifice and efforts.” Emma Paksoy, housewife and part-time seasonal worker Married to a Turkish man and the mother of one child, Emma Paksoy moved to Turkey from the United Kingdom roughly ten years ago. Bridging cultures and views can be tough at first, she said, but common denominators eventually begin to emerge between the cultures. “Initially, it was very hard for me as a British woman to understand the culture [here] and what is expected from women. You have to do a lot of proving and it’s a bit of struggle to get your partner and new family’s approval on many issues,” she said. Eventually, however, Paksoy said one learns the expectations for a women’s roles as wives, mothers and career workers. “It is not so different from the UK. In both cultures, you may get help from your partner but it is always done in a fashion of ‘helping you out’ rather than it being their role in the household to do, for example, the cleaning and cooking. In both cultures it is essentially the woman’s role to be the caregiver. I think wherever you are in the world as a woman you’ve got a raw deal really.” Işık Taban, marriage registrar and published author “I’d like to see that with every succeeding International Women’s Day, the rights of women in Turkey are on the mend. But, when we look at the latest statistics on women’s rights globally, women in Turkey are way down the list – only just ahead of countries like Saudi Arabia who still have public capital punishment. These shed a really dark light on the condition of women in Turkey and is really disappointing for us women who have struggled for gender equality,” said Işık Taban. “I think we’ve tried the road to change through education, but I simply don’t see this is enough. There needs to be a cultural change. You can educate people all you want, but if we are still within a patriarchal society, moves toward gender equality will always be a difficult.” Halime Ok, chief officer of the Fethiye Municipal Police Force for eight years Working in a highly male-dominated workplace, Halime Ok said women need to unite and help each other out not only on women’s day, but also throughout the remaining days of the year. “The truth is life in Turkey is difficult and it is a hard slog for both men and women. It is however, harder for women as heavier responsibilities rest with them. We have to be a good mother, housewives, workers and career women all in one go. We have to be master jugglers.” She said: “In order for women to gain more rights and move forward, women need to stand side by side. This should happen in the in the community and workplace, be it in the private or public sector. There is a saying in Turkish ‘Bir elin nesi var? Iki elin sesi var’, [‘what does one hand have when two hands speak louder?’] So I believe women should not turn their back on each other and should extend a hand instead.” Through experience, Ok has learned women should not rely on men for change. “Turkish men often say, ‘Our mothers are women, our children are women’ more offhandedly and usually without real substance. If they really believed in what they say, then it would be a totally different situation for women here.” She continued, saying: “I think as mothers we need start the change with the way we bring up our sons. For instance a woman marries; her mother expects the husband of her daughter to help her out, be it with the children or with the cleaning of the house. But then when a son gets married and starts helping his wife, the same mother can criticize the daughter-in-law for being slack and not looking after her son. I mean this is classic female-to-female sexism and unfortunately it happens a lot in our culture.” She said the issue, ultimately, revolves around the role of the mother. “They should bring up understanding sons who believe in equality between women and men and to be proud of them when they grow up to treat their wives with equal respect and understanding.” Teslime Sercek, married for seven years and works in a family-owned spice and grocery shop “I believe women are in a better place than ten years ago. For instance, there is a big gap between my mother and me. She is stuck in such a time warp that she cannot go out in public on her own to the market. She probably couldn’t even find it because she is so dependant on my father to do everything for her. I think International Women’s Day is about highlighting the importance of being a free-thinking woman no matter where in the world you come from or what you look like,” Teslime Sercek said. Discussing what benefits she would like Women’s Day to bring, she said: “[There should be] an encouragement of equality not just between women and men, but actually between women. I wear a headscarf and I am proud to do so. Just because I am covered I don’t want to be feared by women who aren’t or treated any differently. I studied at university for three years but had to leave as a result of the re-imposition of the headscarf ban. Although I have a job now, if I had finished university I could have been in a better place financially.” Anna Gavrilova, a Russian citizen who travels regularly to Turkey In Russia, International Women’s Day is recognized as a national holiday where everyone has the day off to celebrate the achievements of women, Anna Gavrilova said. “Schools, government departments, families prepare weeks in advance for the Red Day celebrations where the strength of women is remembered – particularly the female soldiers who fought by the side of male Russian soldiers during World War II.” She said: “Women have a prominent role in Russia and have been the backbone of the countries economy for many years. You can see women driving buses, taxis, waiting tables, managing businesses and in leading political careers. This is because women are hard workers, are more disciplined and do their jobs well. There is a significant problem, especially among young men, who seem to find it difficult to finish their education or retain their jobs, as alcoholism, drug use and gang warfare are on the rise.” Gavrilova said she has seen a lot of change among attitudes toward women’s education during journeys to Turkey. “There have been countless programs to encourage families to educate their daughters. I think this will offer a brighter future for women in Turkey as we can already see so many women enter politics or climbed the business ladder to good professional positions. I believe the new generation of Turkish women will lead Turkey to a more positive future.” HURRIYETDAILYNEWS
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